I see you eyeing that fancy new weapon, asking yourself, “How long until it goes out of fashion?” The good news is that trends are a cycle, and sooner or later—maybe in five years, maybe in two hundred and fifty years—it’ll be nostalgic. It’ll be timeless. It’ll be the kind of thing people wish they still had hanging around in the back of their wardrobes. So take the plunge.
Frighten your foes with thunderbolts and lightning*! The privateer I bought the schematic from claimed the original weapon came directly from the realms of the human gods, but if I had a piece of silver for every time I’d heard that line, I’d buy Southsun Cove. It’s plenty sparkly, though.
Legends tell of the envoys—people who mucked up so badly in life that they’re forced to spend eternity shepherding souls to the Mists. Has anyone tipped these slackers off to Ascalon? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Anyway, get a jump start on your Halloween costume with this genuine, imitation-replica Emissary’s Staff.
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*The Black Lion Trading Company is not liable for injury or death incurred by the use of the Storm Bow. Ensure that you are holding the Storm Bow properly, and do not attempt to destabilize the elemental subjection agent. Avoid bringing your Storm Bow into contact with water, lamp oil, ectoplasm, or necromantic magic.